Honesty and Being Real.

In at least one of my posts, I mentioned that all the wrong men seem to hit on me. And, while I hate to group men together, I have noticed something they all have in common: elaborate, unbelievable stories that are supposed to somehow impress me.

Let me explain how hilariously unattractive that is.:
Success in whatever it is you do is very sexy. It means you are smart enough to figure things out. It also means that you are ambitious [which often means laziness isn't your forte]. And, the sexiest thing about success is when a person is humble about it. They never use their success [financial, emotional, physical, and/or spiritual] as the most important selling point in the dating field.

Here's a little story about one of the most recent men who attempted to use stories of success to lure me in. Let me just clarify that I never physically found him attractive, and after his hideous attempts at trying to woo me made him far more unattractive than he already was. He would bend my ear for an hour at a time, telling me how he has worked on scripts for indie films, written songs for a bunch of well known musicians, done a bunch of printe and runway modelling, and is writing another book. First of all, while those feats are creatively wonderful, they aren't things that make me want to date a person.

Even in his youth, Bob Dylan wasn't an attractive man, and I probably wouldn't have wanted to persue a relationship with him, even though I find him to be one of the most talented musicians of the 20th [and 21st] century. Tom Perotta is a great writer, and seems to understand human existence. Two of his novels have become movies... But, he's just not my type.

So, as this fella went on and on about all of this stuff that he has apparently done, I couldn't help but think, "am I supposed to be impressed?" and "how do I tell him that he's full of sh*t?" Under normal circumstances, someone of his age [34] and attitude [pretentious] who has accomplished any of the above would be doing any of the following:

1. Working for a record label, most likely as a producer;
2. Working for a movie studio, production company, or working as a self-employed screenwriter/editor;
3. Working for a publishing house, or as a self-employed writer;
4. Working for a modelling agency, as a recruit [because 34 is not usually an age that photographers, runway producers, or fashion clients look for] or manager, or as a runway show producer;
5. Wouldn't be working at MetroSport in Palo Alto, and driving an old minivan.

I understand how business works. I understand how people work. I understand what people need to do in order to really be successful in things that they are passionate about.

He never quite understood why I only spoke to him if he sought me out for a conversation. He never quite understood why he isn't my type... Even when I said "I have standards, and I really don't think we're compatible."

So, everyone of every gender, if you are trying to get a date, be honest, be humble, never be aggressively persistent, especially if the person isn't interested. No one likes a liar. No one likes someone who spouts out bullsh*t. No one likes to be chased after by people they can't stand.

Most of all, don't ever make sh*t up because you think someone is dumb enough to believe you and drop trou.