It is what brings couples [or groups, your choice] together. It is the simple chemistry of one's brain at work. By seeing something that our brains register as appealing, which differs in each person, our brains automatically become attracted. Every time I see someone dressed up as Jack Sparrow, a large part of me lusts after them, because I find Johnny Depp far too beautiful for his own good.
Recently, it has seemed that all the wrong people are attracted to me, yet the people I find attractive and "my type" are completely unavailable [gay male or married], have different goals and morals, or fall into the general bad boy/ass hat category. Yes, I totally admit it. I am generally attracted to men I can't have. Especially married men with children. [No, it has nothing to do with an absent or abusive father. My father is still very present in my life, and plays a very supportive role. I couldn't ask for a better, more rockin' father.] The point is, there is something extremely sexy about a man who appears to be a loving husband and a strong dad. I wish that we could skip all the dating mumbo and get an immediate picture of what type of parent the people we are attracted to. The last man I was with turned out to be an overgrown little boy. He was selfish, unkind, emotionally unavailable, and after discussions of child raising, our views on discipline were as different as black and white. Yes, he had to go. No man I am with is going to believe physical punishment is reasonable. But, back to my point. Great fathers are hot. Of course, I can't be with them.
As I mentioned, it seems as though all the wrong people are attracted to me. These are people that are awesome. But, they just aren't my type. You are probably thinking "your type is married fathers." Not true. I just happen to be turned on by certain healthy married fathers [many of whom live in the Bay Area]. In a previous post, I gave a few of the essentials that are on my "attractive mate" list. Most of these things come with time. So, let me give you a list of initial things that attract me:
1. Height. Most people who know me well enough know that I am a sucker for tall guys. The taller the better, I say. Not only does the ubergirly part of me like to feel protected, the primate part of me has this stupid idea that being carried [preferably piggy back style] by a tall man is the most hilarious, exciting thing. Yes, I am in touch with my primate-ness. I feel the need to climb things, even tall men. But, if you get down to biology, I'm thinking my brain is telling me that I need to compensate for my vertically challenged-ness. For any of you who haven't met me in real life, you should know that I fall just under 5'3" and am, probably, the shortest person in my family [excluding my grandfather who is suffering from natural shrinkage].
2. Muscles. Oh dear. Muscles. I can't stand body builder muscles, but I can't stand a man without any kind of definition. Please, if your body is capable of gaining muscle and you are healthy enough to workout 3-5 times a week, work on those muscles! Strong shoulders, mildly veiny arms, a solid chest, a firm stomach, a perky butt, svelte calves... That's just hot.
3. Enough sense to be Well Dressed. While I love the look of Jack Sparrow, it's the novelty, not the actual sexual attraction. A man in a pressed buttoned down shirt with the sleeves rolled up [sky blue or white], dark slacks, square toed shoes [Kenneth Cole preferably], a nice chunky watch, and glasses. That's snappy and I love snappy. I love being in London because of the men. I can sit on the steps of the fountain at Piccadilly Circus for a couple hours and see hundreds of well dressed men. They may not have the most striking faces, but they are put together wonderfully.
4. Great Hygiene. I think that's just a given for most sexually active humans. I'm not attracted to people with unpleasant body odours. Unkempt hair of any sort is unsexy. [I get rid of the majority of the hair on my body on a fairly regular basis. That is how much body hair icks me out.] Yellow teeth, exessive fillings, chronic bad breath: unattractive. Dry, flaky skin, or excessively oily skin. Granted, there are times we can't control these things [my skin has no idea what to do with itself right now], but if guys only realised that using just ivory and shaving gel isn't sufficient skincare. In fact, it's stuff like that that makes skin worse. [Boys, please, get one of your female friends to go buy you skin stuff, and they'll come back with simple, manly stuff. All you have to do is wash your face, use some gentle nonscented shave stuff and slather on some hydration with SPF. Not only will your face look hot, girls will probably want to smooch you so much more.] Anyway. A man that smells fresh [but not like he took a bath in cologne], has a decent hairstyle, has smooth[ish], nonscruffy skin, and a decent mouth region is way sexy in my book.
5. Smile. A smile is what makes everything worthwhile. A genuine smile uses the entire face. It shows that a man can be laidback and not take life so seriously all the time. It allows us to see that he isn't afraid to laugh. And, it shows off their teeth. I am a sucker for a man with great teeth and a full face smile. Ooof. Sexytime.
6. Blue and/or Green Eyes. Perhaps it is because I have greenish blue eyes, and I come from an incredibly long line of blue eyed folk [I don't remember any of my relatives having anything but], that I am attracted to light-eyed men. I'm fond of "recessive" genes, although blue [with a tinge of green, for some] is not the recessive gene. If anyone I am related to has brown eyes, they are the eyeball mutants. :) I can't help but melt when I see bright blue eyes or turquoise eyes. There is something very mystical and erotic about them.
So, while the people who are attracted to me have a couple of the above, my brain doesn't ring the attraction alarm. There are no fireworks, no "I'll die if I don't kiss him" feelings. Okay, maybe not that dramatic, but something sounds inside. While I might consider giving these guys a chance, they aren't men I'd like to kiss. And, I absolutely love to kiss. It is so innocent, yet so intimate. I haven't met a man in a very long time that I, within minutes, want to kiss. I've met guys, I've considered them after awhile, but there is never any desire to kiss them. It is that desire, that need to kiss someone that plays a fairly large part in persuing a person. I can get along well with a person, we can share a lot of common interests, but if the chemistry isn't there, I really don't feel the need to persue a "romantic" relationship. I'll be friends, and I can do that quite easily. But, there is no point in coupling up with a person if the chemistry isn't there...
Which leads me to ask, where are all the men that give me that mutual zing? I'm getting lonely and frustrated here, and I'm bummin' hard that the guys who seem to want me are guys I have no interest in!
I am due at a wedding in a couple weeks, and plan on wearing a gorgeous Betsey Johnson dress with fabulous heels and classic makeup. Hopefully I can meet an attractive, single fella for a quick smooch. ;) You never know, weddings are a great way to meet people!
